What’s your motive for practice?
“Self-possessed, resolute, act without any thought of results, open to success or failure. This equanimity is yoga.”
― The Bhagavad Gita, translation by Stephen Mitchell
I have this potent memory from March 16, 2020. With a heavy heart and a shaking hand, I closed the door to the physical space of Kanda Yoga School. I walked home and each step felt like quicksand, threatening to suck me down into despair. I got in the door. And collapsed on the floor. After some time sobbing (okay, some time and sobbing might be understatements. It was more like ugly crying and a long time). But.... eventually... I got up, re-aligned my mind and my vision, and then took it one. step. at. a. time.
Do you have a vivid memory from March 16, 2020? In the Bay Area, shelter-in-place began on March 17. With so much uncertainty, including a commercial lease hanging over my head, I was scared out of my mind. But, I had inner resources and guidance that (eventually) got me up off the floor.
My inner resources bank was abundant from the consistent deposits of regular practice. Guidance came from a story. A story about what to do when you're faced with an impossible situation. A story about a very brave person who collapses in a very important moment. A story about what that someone needed to hear to pull it together. That story is the Bhagavad Gita.
Major teachings of the yoga tradition are embedded in stories. Because stories stick. You remember them, especially when you need them, and then they become your guiding hand.
In the Bhagavad Gita, the hero, Arjuna is poised above a battlefield. Arjuna feels confident because he's a highly skilled, expertly trained warrior. He believes he’s got this. And he’s got his BFF as his charioteer (this is Krisna, who happens to be God incarnate, but we don't know that yet and neither does Arjuna). Arjuna looks over the battlefield, expecting to see nameless, faceless enemies. But instead, he sees friends, family, teachers, neighbors. This is a civil war. It’s been building for generations, and despite years of trying to circumvent this outcome, it's about to get ugly.
On the brink of battle, Arjuna, in a very human, very recognizable moment, collapses onto the floor of the chariot. Shaking, pulling at his hair, gasping for breath. He says, “I cannot do this.” He wants to run away, bury his head in the sand. This can’t be right, this can’t be happening to him.
Luckily, god/grace/guru is in the chariot too. Krisna patiently and persistently coaches Arjuna back to his feet - literally and figuratively. What follows is an exquisite conversation about yoga, action, and how to be in the world, especially difficult circumstances, with integrity and clarity. Along the course of the conversation, Krisna helps Arjuna re-align his mind, heart, and body so he can do what he needs to do. So he can fulfill his dharma.
Like Arjuna, life will hand you moments and circumstances that seem overwhelming, unfair, undeniably difficult. You can count on that. The question is... how will you show up for it? Are you training? Or are you just going to wing it?
Arjuna collapsed because he felt like there was nothing he could do, no where to turn, no way to get through. Because of his training and relationship with Krisna, he was receptive to guidance. He adjusted his internal compass. And with a shift in his vision, he could clarify his intention and take action.
I believe your practice is resilience training. It's teaching you to find your feet, connect with your center, and engage with integrity. But sometimes things get murky. There's that pesky forgetfulness. You may hit a wall. Encounter a dead end. And rather than collapse, quit, or torment yourself, gentle re-calibration is often the remedy.
For example: In 2016 my practice needed re-aligning. I knew it but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. I didn’t know where to go or what to do next. I was frustrated, disenchanted, and injured (again). I was whining to my teacher (again). Like Krisna, she extended grace and guidance. She taught me Aligned Motives for Practice. I revisit (and wrestle with) this teaching regularly. And if there was one thing I could teach every modern yogi. This would be it.
Here’s the gist: Everyone starts practice from a misaligned motive. That's just the way it is. It’s the pebble in your shoe that gets you to pay attention. AND eventually, that motive is a dead end. You need to pivot, revise your vision and adjust your direction for the promises of yoga.
Now, resist seeing re-alignment or re-vision as anything other than opportunity. When you re-align your motive for practice, your re-invigorate your passion and purpose. Your path becomes clear again.
We’ll go over the misaligned motives, their antidotes, and what this means on the mat in a webinar on 4/25. This will be a lecture, with journaling exercises and discussion. No asana practice. If you want to get some asana in, join the Fundamentals class beforehand. We’re focused on Functional Strength.
Register for the webinar here - Aim is Everything: Dharma and Aligned Motive for Practice.
May the stories stick and provide guidance when you really need it!
